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Sex therapist Kate Balestrieri reveals the most common problems that extinguish desire—and how to reclaim a thriving sex life.
At some point in nearly every person’s life, they experience a loss of desire. Sometimes there’s a catalyzing event—stress at work, a fight with your partner, or sexual harassment. Often, the problem is internal as a person loses touch with themselves and what they want. Dr. Kate Balestrieri, licensed sex therapist, founder of Modern Intimacy, and host of Get Naked with Dr. Kate, is here to help.
In this book, Dr. Kate identifies more than a dozen of the most common reasons people show up in her therapy room, asking What Happened to My Sex Life? With understanding and compassion, she reassures readers that no, they’re not broken—and they will feel desire again. Ranging from internal loss of desire (“Why don’t I feel anything?”) to relationship issues (“Am I a partner or a parent?”), the practical advice and insightful resolutions in this book will help readers get their desire—and sex life—back.
“What Happened to My Sex Life? is for anyone who has ever felt disconnected, overwhelmed, or frustrated by their fluctuating sexual desire. Dr. Balestrieri’s book will help you identify what’s getting in the way of your desire and give you tools to move toward the sex life you deserve. Let this book be a guide back to yourself, your body, your desire, and your pleasure.”—Emily Morse, author of Smart Sex and host of the Sex with Emily podcast
“Dr. Kate Balestrieri brilliantly explores and normalizes all of the very real and very understandable reasons we end up feeling detached from our sex lives. And she provides us with steps we can take to proudly reconnect to our sexuality. Here’s to shedding shame and reclaiming pleasure!”—Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, author of Love Every Day and Loving Bravely and host of the Reimagining Love podcast
“If you’ve lost your desire and are struggling to feel pleasure and connection, this book is for you. Written with compassion and full of stories of real people, it is an invaluable resource for anyone who wants to know where their sex drive went—and importantly, how to get it back.”—Laurie Mintz, PhD, author of A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex and Becoming Cliterate
“As someone deeply invested in understanding the complexities of human desire and relationships, I found this book to be an enlightening and essential read. Dr. Balestrieri masterfully navigates the intricate landscape of desire, addressing both internal and interpersonal factors that can lead to a loss of libido. Her compassionate approach reassures readers that they are not alone or broken, but rather on a journey to rediscover their authentic desires. This book is a valuable resource for anyone seeking to understand and rekindle their sexual vitality. I highly recommend it to anyone looking to deepen their connection with themselves and their partners.”—Shan Boodram, certified sex educator and author of The Game of Desire
“This truly brilliant book is a must-read for any woman having trouble accessing sexual pleasure. It encourages exploration of all the factors—personal, relational, political, and cultural—that impact our sexual selves, and offers evidence-based information, thought-provoking questions, case studies, and suggestions to help promote sexual and relational wellness. It educates, inspires, and guides, taking the reader on an incredible journey of self-discovery and empowerment. Bravo!”—Nan Wise, PhD, certified sex therapist, sex neuroscience researcher, and author of Why Good Sex Matters
“What Happened to My Sex Life? is the smart, deeply vulnerable, and empowering guide people are craving. Dr. Balestrieri offers an insightful lens on barriers to desire and, most importantly, innovative strategies for finding our way back to the sex lives we deserve.”—Dr. Holly Richmond, author of Reclaiming Pleasure
“Balestrieri explores the various roots of sexual stagnation, grants permission to have pleasure, safety, anger, and boundaries, and provides actionable steps for reconnecting with one’s body. Balestrieri’s multidisciplinary approach to reconnecting with sexual pleasure is relatable for anyone struggling with their sex life, no matter where they are on their journey. Her book is a must-read for those seeking to better understand themselves and their relationship with sexual pleasure.”—Zachary Zane, sex columnist and author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto
“What Happened to My Sex Life? is an invaluable guide for anyone struggling with low sexual desire or feeling disconnected from their sexuality. Dr. Balestrieri offers compassionate insights and practical advice to help readers address the many factors that can lead to a loss of connection with their sexual selves.”—Sarah E. Hill, author of This Is Your Brain on Birth Control
“This indispensable guide deserves a place on every bedside table, whether you’re in a relationship or not. Balestrieri deftly decodes our seemingly insurmountable hangups around sex and intimacy to prove that we’re not alone, we’re not abnormal, and we’re not without tools to regain our own personal connection to desire.”—Ali Drucker, author of Do As I Say, Not Who I Did
