We all want to be happy—and we all have specific ideas about what would make us happy: a better house, more money, nicer things. But what if happiness could be achieved through a series of shortcuts?
In his new book, Happiness Hacks: 100% Scientific! Curiously Effective!, Alex Palmer gives readers the secrets to fast-track happiness. Using real science, Palmer offers whimsical, easy-to-follow steps to brighten your day and boost your mood. Did you know that simply putting a plant on your desk will increase productivity? Or that the more you worry about happiness, the less likely you are to find it? Happiness Hacks offers shortcuts for every realm of life: work, home, love, health, play, friendship, and more.
It’s time to stop worrying and start hacking.
Who is this wizard of happiness, you ask? Alex Palmer is a journalist and excavator of fascinating facts. He is the New York Times–bestselling author of The Santa Claus Man as well as three other books of surprising bits of history and science: Weird-o-Pedia, Alternative Facts, and Literary Miscellany. His writing has appeared in Lifehacker, Best Life, Mental Floss, Slate, Esquire, and many other outlets.
Join Palmer on his journey to hack happiness. Happiness Hacks is available May 15 wherever books are sold. Check out the excerpt below on how building a figurative relationship house is a key to success in love!
Just as the home you live in is (hopefully) built carefully with sturdy materials, so too should your relationship be. John Gottman and his fellow psychologist (and wife) Julie Gottman developed a mathematical system—or what might be better described as an architectural system—for whether a couple would remain together or divorce, based on physiological data collected while the pair of subjects got into a disagreement. The Gottman’s used decades of their research to create the “sound relationship house theory,” which outlines seven levels of a successful love relationship.
1. Build love maps: Get to know the inner workings of your partner by asking open-ended questions.
2. Share fondness and admiration: Focus on the good things about your partner, creating a habit of appreciation.
3. Turn toward instead of away: Answer your partner’s bids for attention and support.
4. Positive perspective: View your partner through rose-colored glasses, giving them the benefit of the doubt and avoiding what’s called “negative sentiment override”—defaulting to a negative view of your partner.
5. Manage conflict: Identify negative patterns in the relationship and either resolve them when possible, or create an ongoing dialogue with your partner about the problem.
6. Achieve life dreams: Help your partner to accomplish their long-term goals and life dreams.
7. Create shared meaning, the “attic” of the house: Share experiences, stories, and visions of the relationship’s future.
